Tuesdays with Mortality

I guess we all assume that we are immortal (until something happens to disabuse us). But as well as this naive assumption, I also grew up believing that death was not the end - that I would live forever, cared for by God. I believed that everything which happened to me was part of His plan, and that however bad it was it would be alright in the end. I believed that I was protected. ... It's pretty mindblowing to really accept that I, my self, am simply the product of a lot of chemical and biological interactions. I'm not sure I've got it yet, and I'm not sure I'm happy with it either (accepting this stuff means accepting that I will die when my body does).

This is part of a longer post which appeared on an agnostic/atheist discussion group.

Truth be told, whether we are believers or not, how we each deal with our own death fills a wide spectrum of emotions. It is often said that “there is no such thing as a drowning atheist”. It may be equally true that there is no such thing as a drowning theist who accepts their own sudden demise with complete confidence in their continued existence. Or, to be more fair about it, there are very few people in either category who have total faith in their own conclusions about their own mortality.

Many reasons are put forward for why people go on believing things which they cognitively understand to be irrational. (In fact, the Great and Powerful Godol Hador of Oz is just discovering this issue in a series of fascinating posts.) Certainly, the mortality issue runs very deeply through our conscious and subconscious motives.

We’re not usually aware of it, but there is a certain part of our mind in which we envision ourselves dangling over the abyss, clinging to a rope. The all powerful voice is saying “Okay, here’s the deal; accept me and I’ll be happy to keep holding the rope. Reject me and, well, there’s no one else here to do the holding.”

So what happens when you do finally give up your idea of afterlife (or reincarnation, or continued consciousness, etc.). It is quite a shock. As the quote from the Atheist forum says, getting there is a process. It’s a little bit like finding out that you have a terminal illness called ‘life’, and you have to go through the stages of grief for yourself. Of course, the well touted ‘Five Stages of Grief’ (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) don’t apply here. For one thing we’re starting after denial has ended (though perhaps one could substitute 'avoidance') and for another thing, there’s no one there to bargain with.

So what is the grief process? It’s different, I’m sure, for everyone. For me, it is tightly wrapped up in the much larger issue of reconstructing a post-theism life purpose (which is the subject of a future post).

I can, however, say a few basic certainties:

- It’s sad. Living forever, in my opinion, would be great. Death sucks.

- Life is far more precious to me as a realist then it ever was for me as a theist. Life is NOT the anteroom, it’s the main event.

- Your thoughts are NOT going to be here after you, so if you want to do something with lasting importance, take action.

And perhaps the simplist truth on the subject:
“Mortality is the price we pay for Life.”