Forging Blithely On

I could just chalk up my prolonged absence from blogging to my summer travels. And, as summer travel goes, this was a magnificent year.

But there is another reason for the lack of posts over the past few months.

My blog is no longer anonymous.

And, not without consequence. Recently, forty two pages of my posts appeared in court papers, along with some carefully edited excerpts, in a case which has momentous importance to me.

On the whole, I’m pleased to say that I am proud of what I have written (though not every word is golden, of course), even when read with the microscopic scrutiny which these circumstances impose.

And, certainly, my identity was never a matter of deep cover. My family and friends (or ex-friends, as the case may be) know my story well, and I've provided ample clues as I've scribbled away here. I suppose that I knew that it was just a matter of time before someone would connect the dots.

But now, you see, the stakes are a bit higher. Each word that I post can, and probably will, be used against me in court. And these stakes are high. They relate to what is most near and dear to me in life.

As those who have read my blog will know, my objective is certainly not to offend people. If I do have any specific agenda at all, it is to shed light on the process of believing and not believing, and to explore the gulf in understanding between those who live with faith and those who do not.

Obviously, for most people, this would be the appropriate point to close up shop and/or invent some other, more obscure, blog. But frankly, this plays into the worst (or maybe best) thing about my personality.

I am stubborn.

I don’t want to be censored. I don’t want to be muzzled. I don’t want to run scared in the face of distortion and lies. I want the only standard for what I write here to be my own sense of appropriateness and truth.

This is who I am, this is what I have to say: Let my words stand on their own merit.